What to Say When Attending a Funeral

O’Riley - Branson Funeral Service & Crematory • October 1, 2018

Knowing when and how to say the right thing when attending a funeral isn’t easy for all of us. Thinking through the scenario in advance can help avoid unwanted mistakes.

funeral homes in Whiteland, IN

Doing and saying the right things at a funeral may be a source of anxiety for many in attendance. Thinking about the event in advance should be helpful. We all wish to avoid the kind of faux pas that might brand us a bad guest. Knowing what to do and not to do is an essential prerequisite. You can of course learn more about the details of funeral etiquette by visiting with a funeral director, as well. If you or someone you know is looking for funeral homes in Whiteland, IN, rest assured that there are professionals prepared to address your questions or concerns.


For many, one of those concerns is etiquette.


You may show up to a funeral as a family member, friend, colleague or acquaintance. And you may or may not know the deceased particularly well. Every mourner in attendance is in a slightly different boat, and that can make things somewhat confusing, if not a bit awkward. When it comes to basic interactions, there are a couple of good rules of thumb that you should be aware of. First, saying less may be wise sometimes. Those who were particularly close to the deceased aren’t always in the mood for a lengthy conversation. Keeping your comments brief and to the point may be your best option. Second, and to whatever extent you wish to say more, you might want to simply exchange a fond memory of the loved one in question. That generally isn’t very controversial.


There are certain things you should certainly avoid saying. First of all, avoid the cliché. Telling someone that their loved one is now in a better place may even come across as insulting, and it certainly doesn’t recognize the levels of pain and grief they may be experiencing. It’s an, “That’s easy for you to say,” kind of outcome in the making. We don’t want that. Similarly, you should avoid suggesting that you understand how someone feels. You may or may not, and that’s not really the point. Those suffering through someone’s death often don’t want to hear about what you’ve been through or get into any kind of implicit comparisons.


You should certainly avoid asking about the circumstances of someone’s death or otherwise bringing up their medical care. This is neither the time nor place for a lesson in the logistics of dying.


In many instances, saying nothing at all may be your best option. An understanding smile and a hug may go a long way toward communicating your intent. Wishing someone well in simple terms can be helpful. Assuring them that you are there for them in the event they need anything may be a nice gesture as well. The big point at a time like this is that less is more. Actions may speak louder than your words, and those actions needn’t occur at the funeral itself. If you really care about the welfare of those who just lost someone dear, give some thought to what you might do for them after the funeral when they may find it increasingly difficult to process loss on their own.


A funeral director has been through more than a few services and can certainly provide you counsel when it comes to other related items and funeral etiquette in general. If you or someone you know is looking for Whiteland, IN, funeral homes, consider reaching out to O’Riley - Branson Funeral Service & Crematory. You may visit us at 6107 S East St Indianapolis, IN 46227 or place a phone call to (317) 787-8224. We look forward to handling your needs in a compassionate and dignified fashion. 


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