Betty Lou Cockrum
March 25, 1953 ~ May 18, 2020
Betty Lou Fuller Cockrum, 67, passed away at home on May 18, 2020. Betty was born March 25, 1953 in Wolcottville, IN to the late Moyne and Hyacinth Fuller.
Betty most recently served as president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Indiana and Kentucky for 15 years. Previously, she served as the state budget director of the State of Indiana and head of the Indiana Department of Administration for former Governor Frank O’Bannon and earlier as Bloomington’s city controller after working for the Bloomington Redevelopment Department. She received many awards and accolades throughout her career. Among those, she twice received a Sagamore of the Wabash – the State of Indiana’s highest award – the first from Governor Frank O’Bannon and the second from Governor Joe Kernan. In honor of her 50th birthday, March 25th, 2003 was declared Betty Cockrum Day by the mayor of Indianapolis.
There was no challenge that Betty could not meet, and she always made it look easy.
In her work life, Betty was a tireless warrior for the underprivileged, determined to make the world a better place. In addition to her demanding career, she always made time to volunteer in leadership roles at non-profits and for other worthy causes including Hoosier Women Forward, Indiana Recycling Coalition, Indianapolis Historic Preservation Commission, Domestic Violence Coalition, and the Indianapolis Art Center. She had a reputation for being exceedingly effective, but with a light touch, and was widely sought for political, personal and professional advice. At home with family or friends, she was as relaxed, warm and gregarious as any person you could ever hope to meet. She had a great, and irreverent, sense of humor, and smiled easily.
Betty was thoughtful beyond comparison. No matter how busy she was or how demanding her job, she always sent a card or gift for birthdays and holidays, or dropped a note when something was going on in your life. She loved knick-knacks, music of many genres, and good food and wine.
Betty had a way with words, with her prowess spanning from legal to whimsical. She was an avid reader and particularly loved a good quote. “Well behaved women rarely make history”, “A world of wanted children would make a world of difference”, “Thou shalt not whine”, and “the dude’s buyin” to name only a few of those which adorned her walls, refrigerator, bumper and any other available space.
Betty was the consummate entertainer and hostess. She loved to organize gatherings, both at home for her friends and in a professional capacity. Gathering of the Goddesses (later Gathering of the Gods and Goddesses to be more inclusive), Political Junkies, and others which became annual staples, bringing together people from all spectrums to support myriad worthy causes. No one hosted a party or brought people together like Betty Lou. She also brought people together by creating lasting friend groups, of course with clever titles, such as the Skirts (followed by the MiniSkirts), Redheads, Wine Women, and Comfy Club, to name a few.
She attended Ball State University after graduating high school and earned her bachelor’s degree in 2006 from Indiana University—Purdue University Indianapolis.
In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her siblings Laurel, Butch, Dave, and Patty. Survivors include her siblings Moynetta, Paul, and Nina, sons Joel (Liz) and Gavin (Maggie), four grandchildren Darby, Cade, Cooper and Felix, and extended family members.
Betty left us too soon. She will be missed greatly by her family and countless friends.
Family members held a small private visitation at the O’Riley Funeral Home, 6107 South East Street, Indianapolis. A larger gathering to celebrate her extraordinary life will be held at a later date.
Her sons have asked that in the spirit of her passion and career, donations be made in her name to the Julian Center for victims of domestic violence: https://www.juliancenter.org/in-memory-of-betty-cockrum/.
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Andi, This is a test with a green candle. Please email me at mlewis@orileyfuneralhome.com to let me know you have received it. Thank you, -Macy Lewis
I used to be the keeper of her rolodex. If you don’t know what that is I’m sure you know how to google it. It was huge, and over time, it expanded to 2 rolodexes. Then it went to 3. That was almost 30 years ago. It then evolved into an Excel spreadsheet. It seemed infinite. I suppose that list is now in the cloud. My point is Gavin and Joel, your task is huge because yes, her universe was huge. And it wasn’t just “a contact”. Everyone she knew was special to her, at least that how she made you feel. I bet there are thousands of us to whom she was a sister, friend, mother, confidant, mentor, match-maker, drinking buddy, shopping buddy, cooking buddy, political consultant, counselor, financial advisor, career consultant, organizer, I could go on. Her impact on all her many good friends was impactful beyond measure. And the organizations she supported will no doubt feel a huge hole without her. She made a meaningful positive difference in the people she knew and the world around her. I’m so proud of her accomplishments, especially her two boys. I’m sure she would agree. Much love, Mary Jayne
Your mom had many virtues, and many talents. I’m sure you guys have heard about the more serious ones, so I’ll share one of my favorite talents she had: throwing really, really fun parties. From a baby shower for my firstborn to Halloween parties and Estrofest, we always had great music, conversation, food and drink – and a wide, wide variety of people. Truly an unmatched party giver through the decades! My first party at your mom’s house was in the 70s, and we thought of your Bloomington house as party central, and you guys just hung out with us. Wonderful memories of a wonderful lady.
I met Boo 45 years ago this month in Bloomington. And for 45 years she has been my rock and my anchor. Her loss has been more profound for me than I have words to express. I have been incredibly proud of all her accomplishments in life. And so happy for her that she got to live her life the way she wanted to and brought to fruition most all of her dreams. When she birthed two sons I knew if anyone could raise good men it would be her. And indeed they were rightfully her most treasured accomplishments. The part of our friendship that is most precious to me, and that I’m clinging to with all my might, is that I knew she loved me and that she new I loved her…and always will. Jantina
Betty and I connected in many ways. When I first met her (o/a 1990), we would get together and talk about our children. Over the years we found out that we shared a consistent view that we were preparing our children to leave us. Adulthood was age 18, which meant our kids should be 1/3rd adults at 6, 2/3rd adults at 12, and ready to take on the world at 18. We talked about our kids as though they were “real people” not just the object of our complete love. We also shared a common view about our jobs. We thought it was ok for our jobs to be very important to us. We acknowledged that we weren’t the mothers who could do it all well. We got it all done (or at least the important stuff), but sometimes it wasn’t pretty. Betty was a person I could be honest with. I think she felt the same about me. I admired Betty’s moral compass. She and I both loved quotes. But my favorite quotes are directly from her. She would characterize someone’s behavior with either ” THey get to do that” or “They don’t get to do that”. I think about that basic analysis often. I miss Betty, but I talk to her still and listen for her counsel.
Joel and Gavin I have rolled around in my head for weeks; what to say; I have no good words. There never are. So I will say, I am sorry. And thank you. I am sorry for your loss. There are no words adequate to express this. Truly. Thank you. Your mom meant the world to me. I was blessed to know her for more than half of my life. Her impact on me and the person I am today is immeasurable. A boss, co-worker, mentor and friend. From working with her at Commerce, to IDOA to the Budget agency, she was always thoughtful, kind, funny and fun, and challenging. That may be the memory I come back to the most. I loved that we could challenge each other, sometime seriously, sometime joking, but always friends. We agreed more often than not and she pushed me to think about things in ways I may not have otherwise considered. I could always count on counsel. We once had a debate over who had the best breaded tenderloin in Indy. I had a wonderful time for several months with Betty, Peggy Boehm, Margaret Burlingame traversing the city trying to settle this ‘disagreement’ once and for all. Of all things; I’m hitting a bunch of dive bars and restaurants with the Commissioner of IDOA, the State Budget Director, and the Chief of Staff for the Governor. But dammit, we were going to settle this! Even after we “retired” from state government, I would stop by to have coffee and just chat. We could sit for hours catching up, solving the problems of the world, or at least of Indiana. We often talked about raising kids and she would tell stories about your younger years. One that stuck with me was when one of you decided to dye your hair; green or maybe purple. She resolved, “who am I to say no? He is a great kid, doesn’t get into trouble, has good grades. Who cares what color his hair is?” I try to remember that lesson to this day when dealing with my own kids (sometime with less success than others). And pulling together the 6-pack (the group that she took to IDOA when FOB was elected) for our regular lunch meetings every few months was a highlight of my life over the last ~15 years. Every 3-6 months we got together like clockwork. Good people that all had one person in common; Betty. Thank you for sharing your mom with so many of us. Sean Fahey